where the river flows

我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行，别害怕

Why do I keep tripping on the same rock?

Is this the thousandth time? Who knows, it could be more…

The temporary gratification just shattered right in front of my eyes

As I hit the ground, and pain takes over.

That same piece of rock.

.

As I limp home, shame makes me hesitate at the doorstep.

This broken state of mine [...]

There are times when i am not bothered by it,

Everything seems to be under control.

No confusion, no worries.

.

But out of nowhere it hits again,

it came mercilessly and hard as it urges me to let it all out.

Troubled, weakened.

.

Where are the answers? i see no clear signs.

What should i do? I will wait in faith.

temporary pain [...]

當深愛你的人在默默地等候時，

你卻在想著另外一個她。

雖然不應酬單邊曖昧不是罪，

但是看到她的堅持就難以忍受。

或許這種難受最終也值得，

因為一放松就會帶來災禍。

這種虛偽的愿意只會對她不公平

而且欺騙自己，

最后只剩下傷感的碎片。

你寧可讓她承受短暫的哭泣

也絕不會用面具來逗她開心。

你依然還是這樣。

电影里看到男主角的忧郁和倔强会觉得他很白痴甚至为他感到无奈。

但当我发现自己掉进同样的陷阱时，却觉得很无力而不知该往哪走。
或许答案就在眼前，但最终都不敢跨越。

也成为那个白痴。

(written on August 18, 2009)

As individuals face their own problems,
Some hide them while others struggle to hold on.
.
Friends constantly quarrelling,
Families on the verge of breaking,
Best friend hurting,
Brothers engulfed by confusion,
And yet amongst all these troubles,
I can only watch.
.
Help denied,
Words ineffective,
Understanding treated as pity,
Reassuring smile misunderstood as mocking,
When love is ignored,
I can only watch.
.
Forgotten conviction,
Misplaced affections.
Have we been chasing after [...]