You know there are some prayers He answers but you are like “WHENNNN, why not now??”; there are also some prayers that don’t get answered simply because its not His will. But there are also some that He answers almost immediately, especially when you least expect it.
This morning, i was just talking to God and this is basically what i said, “God, i know i will be facing more challenges in my life, especially because i am going to a whole new environment in Aussieland, with college, meeting new people, adapting and things like that. but hey, challenge me. I admit, its scary asking you to challenge me, but i know you will not put me through something i won’t be able to get through. plus, i have you to rely on, i just wanna grow closer to you…” There was a bit more to this, but this was the important part.
What do you know, God couldn’t wait but send the challenge right away! In the afternoon as i was finishing my lunch, my Uncle suddenly brought up the topic of God and how even though he believe there was a God, he thought it was going too far if you link everything with God. He also went on about how he doesn’t believe God completely because he can’t see or touch God, there is no solid evidence to prove that he is real. Also, if we thank God for everything and ask God for protection, why does are some people more unfortunate than others, why do some people die at the least expected time? the questions go on and on, some questions i was able to answer but some i really wasn’t sure. It wasn’t an argument or debate, it was just a discussion, but he wasn’t convinced with what i said at all. But i guess the main thing was what will happen to those (some new) questions that i have?
To be honest, i felt the Devil laughing and mocking me with those questions. He even tried to stir up doubts and shake my beliefs with lies. It challenged me, and made me think, made me question, wanting to find answers. Then a realization hit me, or should i say a reminder? It shouldn’t and doesn’t matter if i have questions yet to be answered (or even never), because my relationship with God is so real. The things He has shown me, the experiences i had, the love He gave, the endless grace i received are all real. I never want to go back to the life without God. I will continue to seek answers to my questions, but i will live by faith. Though i cannot see or touch Him, i will hold onto what is eternal rather what is temporary.
Though the challenge was evident, God has His way of encouraging me, how caring of Him! I happen to stumble upon Alice’s blog and read one of her post, and it really encouraged me. One thing that she mentioned reminded me of the talk i gave a week ago in which i also talked about this: now that we have tasted the sweetness of being in God’s presence, our security in Him, and more importantly, seeing my transformation through Him, why would i ever want to go back to a life in the absence of God?
I know this challenge will not cease, at least not soon, but i welcome it as it pushes me closer to God. Though the Devil will probably try to use it agaisnt me, to convince me God is just my seek-happiness-and-comfort-imagination, to make me give up, but his attempts are in vain. Becausenothing, in the spiritual or earthly realm, will be able to seperate me from Him. If He is for me, who can stand agaisnt me?
Yeah, take that. I am forever His.
P.S. Don’t get me wrong, i am not criticizing my Uncle, he is a good/funny guy, and he doesn’t disrespects me and my beliefs.
Me: What’s up, Melbourne!
Melbourne: HEY! welcome, its great to have you here soon. I’m sure you will love it here, the lifestyle and Melbourne University too.
Me: Yeah, i don’t doubt that. But hey…i have something i have to tell you first.
Melbourne: What is it, you need me to show you around?
Me: Yea that would be nice, but before that..okay, no offense but you are not ruling my life. God is my priority, and it will stay my priority, got it?
Melbourne: Hey don’t get all tense, we’ve only just met and there are lots of exciting things i have yet to show you!
Me: Thanks, i know but it doesn’t change my –
Melbourne: Come on, we can continue this talk once i’ve shown you around, ya?
Me: you are NOT listening!
Melbourne: Are you sure…?
Me: You HEARD me!
Melbourne: Okay, okay, got it! *surrenders*
Me: Now that we have agreed on that, show me around, friend. =)
He Reigns!
28 Jan 2010 Posted by bryan0530 in Jan 28,2010 thoughtsHe reigns, He reigns!
His victory shines across the nations.
A song of triumph rings endlessly within my heart.
Even though i lost my battle, i know that He has won the war.
The searing arrows, the piercing lies, the rentless attack
Of the enemy shall never penetrate the core.
My heart cries out for Him; it longs to be closer to Him.
This is the only desire that i will eagerly surrender my all.
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行，别害怕
“No one is a firmer believer in the power of prayer than the devil; not that he practices it, but he suffers from it.” -Guy H. King
AMEN TO THAT!
When our abilities fail us and help is not in arm’s reach, people often give up. Some people realize that there is still a hope, through prayer. Praying is already an act of faith, to have faith that Gd will somehow walk with us through this, in his own time and in his own way. And when we stop worrying, the power of prayer is even more evident, because we are saying, “i have faith in You, Gd, so i won’t worry about this anymore and just try my best.”
That is nice, but have you thought of praying continuously, praying first. He is not our last resort (though he can be our only resort), He is the one we should seek/run to first. Though i say this, i know that i still need to work on that too, but i am not discouraged, because realizing how weak i am only amplifies how mighty and loving He is! Super excited! xD
How i long to be home tonight.
Being stuck in this foreign world;
Being struck by the temptation to conform;
Being lost so many times.
Hoping, wishing, waiting..
.
How i long to be home tonight.
Being in the mist of unending conflicts;
Being weary from this long and harsh journey;
Being unsatisfied with what the world can offer.
Hoping, wishing, waiting..
.
Hoping, wishing, waiting..
To see my Father run towards me with arms wide open.
If i were a girl, He would sweep me off the ground,
But instead, He would carry me on His back.
How i long to be home tonight.
Did you know that He thinks of me?
He weeps for my heartbreaks;
He holds a feast in celebration of my victories,
When i cry out, he hears me.
Though i can be stubborn, he never gets annoyed.
His grace showers all the more heavier when i stumble.
He was the first one to love me and the first to die for me,
When i am but a speck of dust amongst his vast creation.
How is this possible?
One so tiny and helpless and worthless caught the eye of the Maker.
Watches me through every ups and downs
and remains by my side even when my closest forsakes me.
Yearns for me to come home when i ran away for the thousandth time.
Embraces me as if i am His best when i am filthy and battered.
Fights and guards me when i am attacked.
Above all else, He taught me how to live.
This is my Father.
The Last Days in Silver Pearl Garden
4 Jan 2010 Posted by bryan0530 in Jan 4,2010 reflectionThis retreat was only short two days, but Gd has shown me SO much…this alone makes my decision to stay in Shanghai for my half-gap year worth while.
The one-on-one time we spent with Gd on the first day was one of the highlights of the retreat. It made me reflect on the past year. However, i asked Gd to show me HIS thoughts about ‘09. Then talking to Gd about my present and future was also interesting. It surprised me when i saw Janelle’s song, “Gd of My Life” appeared on the powerpoint slide, but it also made me smile because i knew this was bound to happen. But when the night came, that was when it went beyond just being a highlight. While the others were either playing songs on guitar or playing the card game, “Mao”, i got the chance to catch up with Mrowr! i’m not sure, but i think we talked for two hours or so. I thank Gd so much for this opportunity because this is what i’ve been praying and hoping for for the LONGEST time. Later that night, the guys and i talked ourselves to sleep. Though it was around 3:30 when we decided to hit the sack, Dosaki’s lecture about the “danger” of apples still amazes me.
Imitating Jsus! that is what we did the next morning. As we seperated into SOAR guys and girls groups, we washed each other’s feet. Since we had a small guys group (Dosaki, George, Andrew and i), when one person was getting their feet washed, the other three of us took turns washing and drying his feet. The prayer of empowerment before we wash, the humility of washing and getting our feet washed, and the unity in washing one’s feet together was a deadly combination for the glory of Gd. Encouragement…what a powerful gift from Gd. We were asked to encourage people. This time of encouragement was amazing, it allowed people to pour into me and me to pour into people. Through this, i also found out things that never occured to me before or i never noticed, and it motivated me to continue running and run even harder for Gd. This life is His, and so the focus will always be on Him.
While people were getting on the buses, i went back thinking to have a last look at Silver Pearl Garden and say goodbye to the place as i walk through the places i’ve had memories of. Unfortunately, we did not use the main auditorium this retreat so it was locked. i couldn’t sit on the red seats, look at the stage where we performed dramas, imagine the speaker speaking, seeing the worship team lead, participating in the activities, watching the MC “punish” people who lost their nametags/book, running around passing out encouragement notes, and breaking down..on my knees for Gd. It was sad..since this is my last retreat, but i guess i will have to say goodbye through the replays of my memories.
These are the last days in Silver Pearl Garden…i really wonder how it would have been like to spend my time in this same location without Gd. Wow, hard to imagine, in fact, i hope that day never come.
望着抒情的夜晚，回想到过去的快乐却又盼望着以后的我们也会带着笑容。
When i look into the mirror, two different-looking eyes stares back.
Compassion fills the left eye as it tells sad stories about it wishes it can
mend the hurt and heal the broken relationships. He cares.
A glint of hope sparkles from the right eye, never losing faith
And continues to strive through hardships. He believes.
Often, you will see encouragements coming forth from the mouth
That also openly exalts His name. He empowers.
That is the person that Gd has molded me into in the past three years.
.
Closing my eyes, i thanked Him silently.
.
As i reopened my eyes, the image facing me is terrifying.
The cunning eyes pierces through as it schemes to obtain his desires.
Slowly, it tears and plays with the hearts of girls, exploiting their emotions.
Savoring the temporary pleasures that the world provides,
He treats Gd as a duty and obligation from his family.
Though pride would keep him away from drugs and theft,
It would openly invite self-centerdness and jealousy.
That is the person i would have become if Gd didn’t adopt me.
.
Cannot bear to foresee more of my would-be path of destruction,
I turned and walked away…
Wondering, with a child-like eagerness, about the person i will become
As i continue to walk with Him.
.
“My life in my hand is a pain and a problem; my life in Gd’s hand is a power and a possibility!” - E. Stanley Jones
yay so exciting